+ a beau__tiful ho___

March 31, 2007

; our strange duet

So hold me tight and sing me a lullaby.

For the longest time I've never felt so calm. And when the alarm rang it just pulled me back to reality. The harsh torment of reality. Sometimes I really wish I didn't have to wake up.

in sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came.

-nIx- @ [[11:11 PM]]

The first part to letting go is to forget. And so I'm going to try to do so. How I'm going to get about doing it I don't know. I'll just try.

-nIx- @ [[12:18 AM]]

March 30, 2007

Yo what fuck? Don't disturb me anymore you are irritating the shit out of me especially by yo-ing me. Who do you think I am? Some bloody yoyo fucking rapper?

Maybe I'm just irritated because you woke me up. Ah fuck.

I've been sleeping practically the whole day. I've got no fucking mood to study. I just feel like going back to sleep and sleep my life away.

-nIx- @ [[4:51 PM]]

; and of course, it so naturally hit me to open the door I've once shut out for more than half my life, thinking you'd always be there for me. Because you said you would, or maybe I just assumed so.

I thought I had an exit route planned out for me, the door I could run out from, one where I could just find you behind, waiting to ask me what's wrong. Somewhere that lead me to My Sweet Escape.

But then I realised life isn't any close to all the fairytales we've been spoonfed with since young. So much for fairytales with happy endings.

Why?And where are you when I need you so?

-nIx- @ [[9:59 AM]]

Sometimes, I wish that I am not me.

-nIx- @ [[1:44 AM]]

I can't think of anyone who didn't curse that bloody guy so far.

I won't be able to afford a bloody cab like you can if you end any later. I end up eating late night meals which are so bloody unhealthy and my bloody mind just switches off after a certain timing so why the hell do you want to run marathon classes every single time?

Ahhhh. .......................

-nIx- @ [[12:37 AM]]

March 29, 2007

If you had one chance, and only one chance to make everything right, what would you do?

I need a break, from life, from studies, from every single person I know. I wish I could just stand by the road, hitch a ride, and follow the person for a whole day to see what he/she does. I want to know how it's like to live a day in another's shoes.

;and it just hurts to know -
there is nothing I can do.
Nothing. Nothing at all.

-nIx- @ [[10:18 AM]]

March 28, 2007

I've realised over the past four years, I've clinged to people so tightly that it just hurts to let go.

-nIx- @ [[11:30 PM]]

It's late. But my hair is still wet and I'm still so damn high(happy) from the trip just now. Rarh! I want to go further next time around.... when I am more free after my exams <--- =(

Oh ya, nick's dad sent lic and me home. ^^ Nice friendly dad.

Never felt this happy for the longest time.Not as high as the times I was with you, but it'll do. I hope you're doing well out there. I hope you remember that there was once a girl whose life, you've touched. The girl who always felt happy and blessed with you around. I hope you remember, me.

-nIx- @ [[1:24 AM]]

March 27, 2007

I'm damn sad. We got caught for bringing chewing gum into Singapore. But then again, I hid mine in my clothes, 1 box each. But I'm still sad. Poor nick.

Ps. When you go to Malaysia, SKIP THE DAMN BUBBLE TEA STORES. We expected the snow something to be blended ______(enter flavour here). It ended up with oversweetened peach plus something and the 2nd cup was yam. Just powder mixed with water and add a few big cubes of ice. How cool is that? There went RM$4 per cup.

Same goes to takopachi. Uncooked.

But then the deep fried ice cream rocks, and so did the rest of the roadside store's food. YUM. Will post pictures when I get them.

Nick's friend brought us to the building with GIANT and brought us around their pasar malam, something so amusing to me because it's like our markets here. Vegetables, fish(dead and alive, alive ones are those that you keep in fish tanks lol), lotsa packet food kinda stuff and all those little things I love to eat when I was younger.

And now I'm safely back home! <3

-nIx- @ [[11:47 PM]]

Right now, I'm having problems signing in any form of MSN messenger, namely, the actual program and also the web program. Tssk!

Soon I'll be suffering from withdrawal symthoms. I just can't feel at peace without signing in, even if nobody's talking to me.

I guess I'll just do some studying.

-nIx- @ [[10:00 AM]]

March 26, 2007

nix is bunking now with a terrible headache which has gone slightly down but still. and im studying here now. HAHAHHAAHA. rubbish.

-nIx- @ [[9:27 PM]]

The people I love and the people who make me, me. (:

I was walking past a photo printing machine and I decided to print some photos for the fun of it. So I printed 2 and they're now part of my wall. And I'd wish they'd forever be a part of my life.

They serve to remind me that life's not about who's the smartest, who's the richest, who's the most powerful, whose the most successful and all the other whatnots. All the competition and expectations just pile up as time goes by. One day I'll climb the ladder I promise - one day, but not now.

My lovely wall.

Part of the LOL group with Chi Dun's twin behind.

Superteens and people who've changed my life, for better or worse. Doesn't really matter. I miss them loads and even though this may be the last picture(or gathering) we have together before we carry on with our hectic life, just looking at it makes me smile. I do hope the smiles don't turn out be one of them shortlived happiness and that it would last till I get over the part where we sometimes have to accept and say goodbye to the ones we love. (:

-nIx- @ [[12:55 PM]]

`the lizard suicide.

In the month of March I've watched 2 lizards die. The first, I killed. The second was suicide. It just dropped with a loud thud on the floor right beside me and laid there without moving. So I suspected it either got burnt or electrocuted from the light above. Ah, I wonder what that idiot was thinking. Gimme the light?

And so if anyone of you out there are pursuing your Science related degree, you can come to my house to catch lizards to cut them all up. I have plenty because they make a really good friend in keeping those flies away when there was, once upon a time some fly problem the whole of my estate, including Yishun.

My sleep time seems to be after 2.30am to 8am for the past few days. Tomorrow, it wouldn't be. I'd be done with this marathon.

-nIx- @ [[8:58 AM]]

I just want to break free for a day and then you guys come provide me with politics.

Tonight I be frank.

I'm more interested in my safety then your unreasonableness.

-nIx- @ [[12:06 AM]]

March 25, 2007

I love Akon songs. Some may seem meaningless(still nice to listen to) but some do have really nice lyrics too.

I am so looking forward to my breakaway from life on Tues. (:

-nIx- @ [[9:23 PM]]

for all the wrongs
that never becomes right.

for all the right
that never showed what's left,
or what it would have been
till it's too late.

for all that's left
that never made it right.

for all those rights
and everything that left.

What a confused mess I've placed myself in.

-nIx- @ [[1:08 PM]]

My comp got cranky in barely what I can call a minute after the MSN loaded, which was supposed to be one of those programmes which load themselves when the computer starts up.

I know it's early morning but my gosh, the comp is even crankier than me when I get woken up in the wee hours of the morning.

Turned off the comp at 2.30am but I only slept a long time later(because I know I definitely stayed awake in bed for a really long time) and was up at 8am.

Sometimes it just sucks for not being able to take that load off my chest. Because when it does, I feel really relieved, but when it strikes back, I feel hell breaking loose inside of me.

And it just tires me out because I can't handle it all. It hurts.

I just hope.. that I'll be able to reverse all the hurt people have caused me, before I go crack. Because when I do, I know for sure, there's going to be stupid things I'd do, knowingly or unknowingly, that surprise me, real badly.

-nIx- @ [[8:44 AM]]

My comp died and revived plenty of times today.

I really don't know what I will do if it dies for real.

Life is already so horrible.

And I'm a computer/internet addict.

And since I had 4 different types of coffee that unfortunately didn't work when I wanted them to work, it's working now. Perfect.

And nothing I study is going in my mind now. I'm having one of those mind blocks. The type where I can't think at all. Or maybe I'm just too distracted. And I'm basically writing everything that comes to my mind right now.

And I'm tired mentally, in every single aspect.

And I can't sleep. And I'm just so not me right now.

-nIx- @ [[1:12 AM]]

March 24, 2007

; and we're only given one chance to make it right,
sometimes none at all

I'm only eighteen/nineteen and I'm already feeling more stressed than most of the peers around me. I can't even enjoy my life in peace. I don't know why I'm pushing myself so hard. I've lost my motivation in life. Give them back to me.

I hate feeling this helpless.

-nIx- @ [[9:10 PM]]

I'm just so fucking pissed at everything today.

Like how I screw up my studies, I don't even know whether I'm in the right course now. Maybe I've just wasted the past 2years on it. I'm just damn pissed. Core papers come first then optional. Now I fucking have to wait for half a year just to take the last optional paper. Which mean I don't fucking get to kick any asses. I'll be a damn old witch already by the time I graduate.

And this fucking bastard walked in the MRT with Durian which smells worse than rotten eggs. The smile was so distinct I immediately figured out what it was and where it came from. Then I started staring at the guy and he exclaimed damn fucking loudly "Bu gan kan wo zuo bian". Like fuck, you got the money to buy Durian no money take cab or drive your own car? And you insult me, as if I'm in the fucking wrong.

Oh, and the bloody coffee that I specially ordered with less sugar was fucking sweet I barely finished half of it. What a bloody waste of money.

I think the problem just lies with me.

-nIx- @ [[6:32 PM]]

; for all the wrong things,
that doesn't constitute a right either.

Learning to let go seems to be the hardest part. I've done it before, I should learn how to let go, again. It seems impossible, like it was before.

It's like a whole battlefield of emotions, where everything Negative ruled for a really long time, till Positiveness fought back. Then not long later, Negative strikes back, it's magnitude as vast as the ocean. Positive is just a meagre drop of the Ocean. What's Positive going to try to do now?

Maybe there's a different approach this time round. One I've yet to find. I don't know.

Who can live without the sunshine? I ~~think~~know I can't.

Maybe I already know the answers to most questions I ask, most of everything I assume. Maybe it isn't maybe after all.

Maybe I'm just a little confused.

-nIx- @ [[12:33 AM]]

March 23, 2007

I managed to save my baby(computer). I can never imagine how I'll be able to live without it. I'll DIE.

And then it makes me wonder how people can ever stand not using the computer for days. It's been part of me for so long.

I intended to start studying at 9am. But I ended up fixing my computer and up till now, here I am - NOT studying. Very good.

; cry, if you need to.
Don't coop it all up.
It ain't healthy.
And I just want you to know,
I may not be beside you all the time,
but I'm just seconds away.

; and for all those advices,
which helped me a great deal.
I may be bad at them,
but my shoulder's here - for you.

; for being there for me,
when I was in the black.
I am thankful -
and I'll be here for you too.

-nIx- @ [[3:29 PM]]

; time will tell

my trusty old baby died down on me i am damn sad.

-nIx- @ [[9:55 AM]]

2things on my mind now.

; afraid of
1. depression
2. feeling helpless

I don't know why I'm feeling this way.

-nIx- @ [[1:49 AM]]

My eyes just want to have some shut but I just have the gut feeling I won't be able to sleep if I turn off my computer and lie in bed now.

I need to try to wake up(and sleep) earlier. AND START MUGGING. Ah damn. I just don't know how to begin. Everything's a mess. A bloody mess. I wonder if it'll ever go away.

Why?

-nIx- @ [[1:35 AM]]

It's funny how simple nonsensical stuff that mean nothing to others mean a lot to some.

Today when I took the mrt, I noticed that the lady beside me had her clothes tag sticking out, following which I realised her clothes was inverted. And so I told her, first in English and then in Chinese because she didn't understand what I was talking. She was rushing for time so she didn't noticed. So she went off at the following stop. At least it beats walking around only to realise that the shirt's inverted at the end of the day. And so her little blunder made me grin a little, not at her, but at random incidents that happened.

Was late for class for about 10minutes so that homework question still remains a big questionmark to me. I bought the coffee from the cafe downstairs. I admit it's still the best I've ever tried, sadly I know they won't be able to last long. It keeps me really awake. Take yesterday for example, I took it for the latter half of the class in the morning and at midnight, I still wasn't sleepy. Today I took mine at approximately 7pm, good luck to me. Today's class ended at 11pm

-nIx- @ [[12:14 AM]]

March 22, 2007

-nIx- @ [[4:26 PM]]

; So I tell it to myself again

You`re looking for something you can`t find
If you give it up, you`ll lose your mind
There`s always somthing in your way
What can you say?

Yawn yawn. I'm so tired but I forced myself to wake up. But as promised, here is that stupid IQ question. Please get ready your paper and pen or else if you do it mentally, it's possible but almost absurd.

Use this numbers only once, and all must be used. 5, 5, 5, 1. And include plus, minus, divide and multiply. Also only used once and must include all.

Think out of the box.

And that stupid MRT incident was me falling asleep, waking up briefly at DG to remind myself, okay, next stop. By the time I woke up I was at Raffles. Walked up a floor to take the Green line to go towards school. ALOHA, I saw val in the train... then I realised I was on the red line on the way back to CH. So I had to get out again, walk a floor down and then take the Green line all the way to school. Time wasted? At least 15minutes. Baka. Moral of the story? 1. Sleep early. 2. Lower your MP3 volume. 3. Don't sleep when you know you're approaching. But it's tough when you're really tired.

-nIx- @ [[10:13 AM]]

`ThisIsHowYouRemindMe.

Familiarity ; plays a game of threat.

Went in a car ride. Went past my school and drove through that so very familiar road along Balestier. And the heart almost stopped drumming.

And then the laughter stopped, and silence took its toll. So quiet even the dropping of a pin could pierce through the silence of the dark night ahead.

I wanted to cry so badly but I knew ; it would only be a sign of weakness. No amount of crying can ever bring things back to how they were. So I tried to face it, to get over it.. and I succeeded. Not immediately, not totally but at least I did. At least I tried. I'm not the cow that jumped over the moon, nor dancers that take huge leaps. I take steps, small steps - but the lead me to the correct direction, and I'm not that likely to fall.

Tomorrow(aka when I wake up and remember to blog), I shall type what is owed.

-nIx- @ [[1:49 AM]]

March 21, 2007

Emotion's been like a rollercoaster ride. I've been very much nothing but a confused mess.

Tonight, remind me to give you guys an IQ question(Yes, I feel damn stupid now). Plus, my wonderful MRT trip last night. Val knows what I did. I rule, I really do.

That canned coffee didn't work. The cafe at the first floor's coffee is really superb. I was planning to come home after class to sleep but I'm so wide awake now. Next time I shall go get coffee from there. So much better than the coffeeshop's diabetic coffee.

-nIx- @ [[3:07 PM]]

I'm a cam whore. My favourite pasttime is taking candid shots of people, as long as it doesn't include me inside(I learnt this from JY). Candid shots can sometimes turn out really nice. (:

Now its 5minutes to 1am. MORNING SCHOOL! Goodnight y'all!

-nIx- @ [[12:43 AM]]

March 20, 2007

-nIx- @ [[4:10 PM]]

Studying makes me feel so sleepy.

But at least I'm feeling so much more cheery as compared to yesterday and this morning.

Grapevine later! Yum yum food. Wait for me.

Today also marks the last day of fasting. 19 days isn't that short, neither is it that long.

I've remained the same weight before and after so I guess this is the lightest weight I'll ever be able to maintain from now on. Rar.

-nIx- @ [[3:43 PM]]

And so I shut the alarm up forgetting to extend the alarm though I thought I did. Maybe repetitive actions sometimes get forgetten.

And so I wonder if this is good news or bad? To forget even the simplest actions.

JJ was sharing with me the stunningly beautiful poems her friend creates.

And I found that mine are utterly sadistic.

You're like the; antidote
for happiness,
to keep the sadness away.

-nIx- @ [[11:42 AM]]

March 19, 2007

I like Phantom of the Opera. Do you?

Hate.. is a powerful word. Strong, extreme, adverse. But that's my greatest weakness. Because I can never use it as my weapon against you.Because you taught me how to face my fears and overcome it. I don't want to lose a friend like you. You're the one I trust the most, still do.
What did I do wrong? Where did I go wrong?

-nIx- @ [[11:33 PM]]

`self-destruction.

Maybe I brought this all upon myself. Lol.

Some habits are impossible to break.

Wohoo. I'm tired. Goodnight.

-nIx- @ [[10:23 PM]]

; mind trick.

I'm so tired of it all.

-nIx- @ [[9:31 PM]]

; tell me, something I don't already know.

And since then Prision Break Series 2 isn't complete. I don't know what else to do.

Probably a wrong choice to start watching series because they take forever to complete.

-nIx- @ [[4:51 PM]]

And I'm living with people who try to wake me up at omgwtf unearthly hours, barging into my room and screaming God-knows-what at me in which I can barely recount about what because I'm so bloody tired after waking up from 2hours of sleep. Vacuuming the floor early in the morning. Blasting the TV. Like fuck, leave me alone.

I am damn bloody sure I won't be able to study in peace without being ordered to do housework later on.

Fuck la. Why does it always have to end up this way? I'm damn bloody upset.

-nIx- @ [[10:32 AM]]

Round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round in circles.

I'm tired ; but I'm just afraid to close my eyes.

The past, just haunts and stings - like a bee. Every single detail, etched in her head. Maybe they think she's too young to remember. But fuck, boy does it hurt real bad. She'll hunt you down one day. I swear.

And then she seeked for help. To the only one she'd never intend to hurt. Relied - way too much. Then that source of help just walked away from her ; just like that. Left her bleeding, way too long.

So near, yet so far.You're the only one I've trusted so much and opened myself to.
I'm so not gonna fall into depression again. I'm determined. I'll fight.

-nIx- @ [[1:45 AM]]

Today when I was on my way to PS this lady kept leaning against the pole so since she loved to align her butt crack with the pole I helped her a little bit more, by grabbing a few strands of her hair and then lightly resting on her making use of every opportunity of a sligh train jerk. Her son kept holding the bar and half of my hand, most probably instructed by her in an attempt to get rid of my hand from the pole. I don't admit defeat, sorry. All I did was keep shaking my fingers to the tempo of my music and irritate the crap out of the boy too. Stupid boy. I admire the lady, she kept leaning on my hand too, on purpose.

I'm still damn sad.

-nIx- @ [[12:12 AM]]

March 18, 2007

I'm damn sad. It's always goodbyes everytime. I wish I could help but I don't print money. My classes will be so damn bloody quiet if she's gone.

-nIx- @ [[10:43 PM]]

Prison Break has got me all tired and emotional, yet it's so bloody addictive.

Today I had breakfast somewhere in Ang Mo Kio and this bloody chicken rice store nearby had this whole compilation of fucking techno music he kept blasting while preparing to start the day off. I hate bloody techno. I shall never support that shop even though I love chicken rice.

I'm such a bloody sadist. Look what I've churned out.

so she bids her last goodbye
just beneath the crimson sky
and then she lets out her last cry
they leave her there ; to bleed and die.

Think I shall study a little 2.5 later on, if possible.

-nIx- @ [[10:24 AM]]

March 17, 2007

One very sleepy nix.

Awoke at 6+am to have breakfast, stayed home to study for the test, left house at 8.45am. Reached school at about 9.45am to be greeted by the teacher's stare(including the rest of the class) and "Good thing you belong to this class because I was just complaining about people walking in the wrong class."

Managed to keep up more or less the whole of the class filled with jokes and stories. Studied for an hour till the test. The bloody guy in charge was like taking photos using his phone, so obvious I stared at him doing so then he started pointing the camera at me. ~!@#$ you. Screw you. He stared at me when I handed up my paper too. Suckerrrrrrr.

Went to Bugis to shop for Rong Rong's birthday present. Walked to Suntec to eat very lousy Korean food(what a disappointment). Then it was back to Bugis to shop for Yu Shan's slippers and random clothes shopping. Bus-ed home with 851 from Bugis.

I didn't buy any clothes! I'm so proud of myself. But I did buy a stunningly hot red wallet/purse. Love it! There goes another $20.

-nIx- @ [[10:43 PM]]

`i'll be your favourite alarm clock.

So here I am at 7.30am in the morning blasting music just so I can keep myself awake and studying.

I am also the fashion queen for setting my own style for wearing my tee inside out and going to breakfast like that, only to find out just before I stepped into the lift on the way home. Met a family friend whom I was fondly attracted to when I was young - his profession as you know, being a clown/public entertainer attracts small kiddos like me. Oh yes, I'm so malu. But I just can't help but laugh it off because the same happened to someone else and I just laughed away. (: Karma again. Tssk.

But all in all, I'm still one happy bunny!

Time to study. (:

-nIx- @ [[7:35 AM]]

Sometimes it's so hard to knock some sense into people. I know because I've been one of them idiots who don't listen to the really good advices given by my friends. It just happens to go in one ear and out the other. It's like that. I guess I'm just stubborn. I always end up hurting myself. This time around, I'll listen and try to heed them advices if they make a little more sense than what churning up in this confused head of mine. I'm gonna lock myself into a little bubble - the kind where it can rest on your fingers so it doesn't pop easily(can be found at Toys R Us). So I get a little of both worlds. Rubbish bin talking here.

Now when I try to do the same and help others out they are going round and round in circles, everywhere but heeding my advise. Maybe it's just because mine sucks real badly. Karma, karma. Tssk.

-nIx- @ [[12:39 AM]]

And so, since a picture speaks a thousand words, I've picked a handfull of those I love and am sharing them with you. =D

I'll just let them speak for themselves.

-nIx- @ [[12:09 AM]]

Shit ah. I think I'm too high to concentrate on my studies. I'm still at Internal Audit, which is more or less the only topic I've started on for the whole day apart from going through the past test's answers. Wohoo. I'm so screwed can?

-nIx- @ [[12:02 AM]]

March 16, 2007

Cute or not? Those who never go lose out. =p

Today, for dinner, I had Curry chicken with bread, Ice cream and cakes. Fattening yes I know. I took 101 pictures. =x

-nIx- @ [[9:28 PM]]

Bang. I should get hit in the head. I've been going out for so many days. Test tomorrow and I am everywhere but tensed. Not to mention that I've only covered the last test paper in which the questions would definitely not be repeated right?

I've just reached home from watching a movie and smuggling an underaged kid into the theatre. Well, not much of a smuggle, they didn't even check at all so effectively, I was doing it in broad daylight.

So during the past week I've met/been out with 3 peeps from Superteens on 3 different days. (: That beats the record. Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday!

I need to study. ):

-nIx- @ [[5:04 PM]]

Feeling : Happy!

For everyone who compromised on dinner time just to wait for me to break fast and include me in dinner(or join me for breakfast) ; thank you.

For those who accompanied me through the good and bad times ; thank you.

For those who entertain me when I'm bored ; thank you.

For those who have so much patience in answering my questions ; thank you.

For the one who makes me smile ; thank you.

For the one who accompanied me in being kids for the day ; thank you.

For the road map guiding the road idiot(me) ; thank you.

For the peach baby ; thank you.

Learning to cherish everything and everyone around me makes me a happier person.

Like some say - people come into your life for a reason, and when they've fufilled their part, they leave. It might be hard to swallow at first, but as time passes, you'll understand and accept the fact.

Being happy makes life and studying a thousand and one times better! (:

Yesterday's studying didn't go too well. I studied a page or two and decided to have a nap from 1+pm till about 2pm. When I woke up I was so tired that for every 4 lines I read, I slept for about half an hour. Very productive indeed. So at 4pm I decided to take my own sweet time to prepare for school and continue studying but I ended up talking all the way till the class started. I guess that's just my body's reaction for all the sleep I last in the past few weeks(weeks, yes weeks). I should learn to sleep early.

I'm so damn happy I kept myself awake and alert in James' class.

It's slightly after 1am now. Time to sleep. (:

-nIx- @ [[12:15 AM]]

March 15, 2007

Welcome to the family!

I LOVE PEACH! Haven't resized all my pictures yet. Except a random few. Those irresistably cute ones. Come PM me for them.

I feel so sleepy, I could sleep. But I need to study. Cost of stock = purchase cost + conversion cost. Time to go back to studies!

to the girl who doesn't want to grow old ; me.

-nIx- @ [[11:29 AM]]

March 14, 2007

Finding Nemo on Ice has got to be one of the best thingy I've watched. Heeeeeeeeee.

First up was school in the morning where I was struggling to keep awake. Thankfully the strong smell of Yu Shan's coffee managed to keep me awake for the latter half of the class. Went home to sleep after that.

Haircut at TP. =D Then to the library where I intended to borrow some books to read, out of which I only managed to find one, but then I read the first few pages and got bored out.

Met up with the sunshine at 6pm and we started off to Indoor Stadium. Walked for a short while before we decided to take a cabby there. There's like only a baby peach there so the sunshine got it for me. =D I can never get enough of Peach.

I think I spent half the time looking through my camera to take pictures of Peach rather than watch them skate. But it's damn cool and because of me taking pictures, I missed out on some somersaults and stuff. I'm so sad it was all over so fast.

Walked to KFC after the show and then to one of the main road's busstop to take a bus all the way to Toa Payoh and then finally back home.

I'm just damn happy today. Thank you so much for everything today. (:

The sunshine still make me smile. (:

-nIx- @ [[11:53 PM]]

I don't know whether to worry or not because the new syllabus is gonna be a killer. If I don't pass this time round I'm just dead meat. Minced meat. Pounds($$$) me to death. The money better not go down the drain.

-nIx- @ [[2:30 PM]]

nIx can't wait for tonight. =D

Apart from that, life sucks. Maybe I think too much..

I WAN MY PEACH! WOHOO! XD

-nIx- @ [[12:49 AM]]

March 13, 2007

sunshine.baby just keeps quarreling and squeaking. I'm damn sad I don't know how to stop them from squeaking. All my fault. I took them out to play. I'm damn careful with them but the moment I placed both of them back they fight. Fight over food.

I've put a huge amount and they just keep eating and eating. Later they grow too fat. Maybe it's because they like to feed themselves by going in the food container and it's too small for both of them.

Time to find another food container. I love them too much to let any of them get injured.

At least I'm happy they've got themselves toilet trained not to pee on the wheel anymore.

-nIx- @ [[10:47 AM]]

March 12, 2007

Sis called mum and when mum asked how her guy was, found out he was in the hospital so she called the hospital, gave the name and asked for the ward and stuff.

On Msn

Sis : He is in hospital, ward __.
Mum : Ya I know.
Sis : How you know?
Mum : Because I got his name, I got his address, I got his handphone number. I am your mum.
Sis : He is okay except his phone is dying.

LOL. My mum is such a stalker. Like father, like son. Like mother, like daughter. =x

-nIx- @ [[11:44 PM]]

Tickets bought and nix is one happy bunny! *hops hops* =D

Jy is as mad as nix. HAHAHA.

-nIx- @ [[11:20 PM]]

i.got.it.so.don't.play.me.out. (:

TooLateToTurnBackNow.

-nIx- @ [[11:20 AM]]

; thoughts
sometimes they leave me in a dilemma
and at other times, they make me happy.

either way they leave me helpless.

So what say you?

Well, I'm so drained and there's yet another fact of life bothering me. How can an uncle and aunt not allow their niece to see her father even though he's entitled to see her once a week?

She breaks down from all the restrictions, scoldings and treating her as if she's of lower class or something. Why decide to bring her up but let her suffer? I want to help her, I just don't know how.

I haven't seen her for years, since primary school maybe. I feel a connection with her even though I don't remember anything about her or how she looks like. I've got to help her somehow. It's just not right.

Perhaps what I'm going to do would tantamount as an attempt to sour relationship(s), but it doesn't matter much to me anymore ; or does it?

Maybe it does.

But it's just a little too late to turn back now.

-nIx- @ [[1:01 AM]]

March 11, 2007

; say,
i hope nothing goes wrong.

I love my hammies even though they keep nibbling and attempting to bite me. =s

-nIx- @ [[12:09 PM]]

March 07, 2007

Finding Nemo on Ice. =D

Time to sleep. It's 12.33am.

-nIx- @ [[12:04 AM]]

March 06, 2007

Finding Nemo on Ice. (:

I guess I need time off to be a kid rather than focusing so much on my studies too right?

Till then..I'll go out with you.

But I have to rush 2reports and 1 homework question today. 10am-9pm library marathon! No more watchign Prison Break for the next few days.

-nIx- @ [[1:27 AM]]

March 05, 2007

I spent about $70+ today on junk. Clothes, shoes, lighter, food, whatnots.

-nIx- @ [[9:48 PM]]

I'm as lost as I can get if anyone places me in the woods.. adding on that I've been going around in circles for days. I think I feel that way.

How much more screwed can my life get? Nobody woke me up so I didn't eat breakfast and was hungry since midnight. 10 more hours till my next meal and drink. It doesn't matter that much anyway since I've no appetite and would have otherwise spent my after meals vomiting out my breakfast just because I can't take room temperature water in the morning. And I have no clue why.

Either way, it seems like a lost cause, what I'm doing now. I've been forcing myself to keep up late just so I can fall asleep the moment I lie my head on that pillow.

I haven't done my calculations yet.About whether that handy calculator reunites with it's rightful owner.
Please don't mess with me. Please don't play me out.Perhaps you've forgotten ; perhaps you've changed your mind. Can I really live my life in denial?
I think trying to study today is totally out of the question.

-nIx- @ [[9:20 AM]]

For every piece of me that wants you, another piece of me backs away.that's so not true.
Why is it so hard to face the truth ; or am I staring it right in the face?our lives ; you see. it's totally different, sad to say.
Easier said than done.

-nIx- @ [[1:26 AM]]

March 03, 2007

Lin is angry with me. ):Tell me what's my limit because I really don't know. I really want to go out with you. I dreamt about you last night and all I ever wanted to do was to see you again.

-nIx- @ [[11:14 PM]]

FINALLY. I finished my test after 2days of studying for 12 hours and a third day spending my free time on the way to school and during breaks to study. I screwed it up. 6pages long and the girl beside me just left her bag with her and started copying. Tomorrow I study at 9am again. -.-

I feel like a ridiculously kiddy girl now. Finding Nemo. Hahaha. How now brown cow?

-nIx- @ [[10:24 PM]]

Maybe the story would have a different ending if only I were a little more hardworking and smarter then.

I hate to compare but I hate it when things turn sour too.

I wish my life was a bed of roses.

My internet explorer's been attacked by virus plentiful. Now the whole favourites list is filled with those links. How do I remove them? Anyone, help?

Random.
My latest addiction is Akon - Smack That. <3

-nIx- @ [[12:01 AM]]

March 02, 2007

): I am so tired I just woke up. =/ Time to study. Shower first so my hair that's wet can keep me up for about 2 hours or so. LOL.

-nIx- @ [[11:36 PM]]

So distracted. The slowest I took was half an hour for 2 paragraphs. HAHAHAHA. I'm so damn screwed. 1.5topics in 8hours and I have 2 more to complete. It's almost impossible. I have to sleep early for morning class tomorrow too. =s

-nIx- @ [[9:50 PM]]

I am so bloody distracted. There's this really familiar smell that always gets me feeling damn high. The scent that makes me spin around and try to look out for the person.That's how I found out you were nearby, twice, that day. My gosh, it reminds me of you.
I need to get my butt stuck at that chair and eyes glued to my notes instead of here. =s

-nIx- @ [[10:39 AM]]

`because that's how I thought you to be.

Gahhhhhh. I hate the new blogger. Don't ask me what's the difference, there's at least a little bit of edits that I don't like. ):

Today I studied from 9am till 2.30pm and then 4.45pm till 10+pm. That makes about 10+hours of studying! I feel quite contented with my performance today.

Our initial plan was to go to Sentosa but it was raining the whole day. At least I had Marche. Thanks Jasmine for the treat. (: Thinking about food, I am bloody hungry.

I still think FRS11 is much easier than FRS16(Leases. I hope I remember it correctly).

Today(since it's after midnight) I'll be going NLB-ing 9am to 9pm. I was intending to do 9am to 6pm because I really don't think I can last that long but then again, test tomorrow.

I still ~~love to go~~have the habit of bumping. Plus the chances are higher today. But I have to study. ):

Today, I wish you all the best in your A's. I hope you'll do very well. I'll pray for everyone, especially you. (:

-nIx- @ [[12:04 AM]]